One of the more difficult parts of the coronavirus pandemic has been the prolonged physical separation. An introductory handshake with a stranger is no longer a possibility. A hug from a best friend feels very far off. To put it simply, social distancing, while vitally important, just kind of sucks. We have been separated from our friends and family. We can no longer see our classmates or coworkers face to face. In many places, the weather is starting to warm up, which typically encourages outdoor gatherings. Suddenly, all of the in-person social interaction we once took for granted has vanished. As a result, all of us—even those quarantined with someone—are experiencing a lack of human touch, which can have negative effects on emotional and mental health.
Forced to stay in their homes, many people right now find themselves completely isolated. Understandably, anxiety has been settling in. Due to health concerns, necessary trips to the grocery store can feel scary. Getting the mail feels unsanitary, and a simple cough or sneeze from a stranger can be cause for concern. You may feel very impatient to reach a future where this is all over, but in order to deal with these difficult circumstances, consider homing in on your memories of the past.
According to Dr. Sarvenaz Sepehri, a clinical psychologist based in California, we may long for human touch because we associate it with fond memories. In an email, he recommends attempting to replicate this positive feeling by focusing on our other senses. “Try getting back in touch with a memory that travels you back to a time when you felt hopeful and connected to others,” he says. “Draw it out in your mind: Where were you? Who was with you? What was the scene like—colors, scents, textures? What were you feeling at the time? How are you feeling now that you’re imagining it?” This is a handy technique because it can be practiced anytime, anywhere. If COVID-19 has you feeling lonely or stressed out, try this exercise for a relaxing moment of peace.
Of course, nothing can fully replace actual human touch. “Touch is our first language and one of our core needs. The touch of a safe, trusted loved one can alleviate anxiety and promote a sense of well-being without doing anything else,” says Dr. Jon Reeves, a clinical psychologist based in Washington. “Though nothing changes [and] nothing is ‘fixed,’ when appropriately touched we tend to feel much better.” Human touch is incredibly intimate and specific, but we can try to approximate it through comforting objects and activities. Dr. Reeves suggests finding some old keepsakes and gifts from friends and family to keep visible during the quarantine. Objects with sentimental value can soothe our negative feelings and remind us that we will soon be near our loved ones again. “Touch often feels best from someone we know and love—it is not just the physical touch, but the relationship and memories of that person that help us feel better,” he says. Having a stuffed animal or old birthday card nearby could be a helpful, simple method of leveling yourself. “In the same way that a favorite blanket can help a child feel safe at night when their parents are sleeping, these objects can help us adults ‘feel’ the presence of loved ones.”
If you cannot obtain a sentimental object, consider purchasing a weighted blanket or a new bath bomb. These items can feel luxurious and comforting in times of stress. Furthermore, they activate the senses on a tactile level. Try to appreciate sounds, smells, and feelings that you normally would overlook, and you’ll achieve a newfound experience. “Running one’s fingers across the walls of your room or through water coming out of the faucet, one might reflect on how their home provides for their needs, and actually express gratitude for these things out loud,” Dr. Reeves says. “Noticing other pleasant smells carried in by fresh air will promote emotional well-being.” Also, if you have a dog or a cat, spend more time petting them than usual. Your companion will enjoy keeping you company, and it’s a tactile, emotional substitute for human interaction for the time being.
And don’t forget to acknowledge the people you do encounter (from a distance, of course!). Conquer your fears—a little conversation through the door with a neighbor or a wave to your mailman is a good way to interact with others and avoid social starvation. “When you go to the grocery store or on a walk around the neighborhood, make an effort to make eye contact and offer a simple hello,” says Dr. Reeves. “I myself have never felt more connected to some of the strangers in my neighborhood than when we leave the sidewalk to give each other six feet of space and laugh at the social absurdity of it all.”